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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28223274">mistletoe</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/beaniebbz/pseuds/beaniebbz'>beaniebbz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Christmas Presents, Embarrassed Killua Zoldyck, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Gift Giving, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mistletoe, Out of Character, Panic Attacks, have a happy holiday season everyone!, i just want killugon to be happy, it isn't very descriptive though, zoldyck typical abuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:21:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,822</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28223274</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/beaniebbz/pseuds/beaniebbz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well, if you have a bad memory with mistletoe, let me give you a good one! Hopefully, they’ll, like, neutralize or something and balance out.” Gon pauses, thoughtful, before a huge grin graces his features. “Or, even <i>better</i>, it’ll make you forget the bad memory entirely!” </p><p>Killua simply blinks. That response was so… <i>Gon</i>. “What kind of good memory?” He suspiciously asks, making air quotes around the word <i>good</i> with his fingers. </p><p>The older teen frowns. “What else do people do with mistletoe? I’ll kiss you, obviously.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>186</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>mistletoe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>As a slight TW, Killua does start to have the symptoms of a panic attack right before the large chunk of italicized text (a memory flashback). It's only a paragraph and not very descriptive, but I still wanted to warn everyone just in case!</p><p> </p><p>killugon in matching ugly sweaters + mistletoe!!!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Come on, Killua,” Gon shouts from the hotel living room. “We’re gonna be late and then Leorio will get all cranky!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> wearing this!” Killua angrily yells back. “It looks like shit!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Gon had offered to let Killua open a gift early, he had been overjoyed. Such happiness, however, quickly dissolved into resentment once he actually laid eyes on the present; it was a hideous red sweater, decorated with sequins and fully working lights. Killua can see his eye twitch as he glares at the offending material in the bathroom mirror. The crude outline of a pine tree sewed with silver tinsel mocked him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww, don’t be like that! I’m sure you look great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Killua’s cheeks flush and he is suddenly very grateful that Gon isn’t in the same room. His friend didn’t mean anything by the compliment, he’s sure, but Killua’s face betrayed him nonetheless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, sweet words were barely enough to force Killua out of the safety of the bathroom to instead stand in front of Gon, who is grinning brightly. He glances at the brunette’s sweater; it perfectly matched his, except Gon’s was in dark green. Killua has to resist ripping his hair out because of </span>
  <em>
    <span>course </span>
  </em>
  <span>his friend would still look good even in an ugly holiday sweater. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gon’s smile was almost blinding as he looked Killua up and down. “See? It looks amazing!” He turns to grab a couple of wrapped presents. “Let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The white-haired teen picks up the rest of the gifts, sighing. Leorio wouldn’t let him live this one down. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>&amp;&amp;&amp;</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as the two teens walked through the threshold of Leorio’s apartment, Killua already heard a muffled laugh. He instantly bristles, trying to peek at the culprit through the mound of boxes in his arms. A pair of pale hands remove the large present in blocking his view, and Killua’s jaw drops when he realizes that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kurapika</span>
  </em>
  <span> laughed at him. It hurt, it really did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Killua,” The blonde says, smiling faintly. The bags under his eyes weren’t as severe as the last time he and Killua saw each other. “Happy holidays.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurapika’s calming aura is infectious. “Yeah, yeah, nice to see you. Where can I set all of this?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He guides him into the large living room where Gon and Leorio are already snorting about something or another. Killua does a slight double-take, because </span>
  <em>
    <span>how did Gon get in here so fast?</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Killua gently sets down the presents but immediately regrets doing so when he remembers what the boxes had been hiding. Leorio’s gaze snaps to the sweater hanging off Killua’s body, eyes widening for a second, before glancing back over to Gon. The teen can practically </span>
  <em>
    <span>see</span>
  </em>
  <span> the lightbulb go off in the old man’s head, and his groans can hardly be heard over Leorio’s obnoxious cackle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice sweater,” He chuckles, voice dripping with sarcasm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Killua can quickly snap a </span>
  <em>
    <span>shut the fuck up</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Gon butts in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t it?” Gon asks, sidling up to the younger teen’s left. An arm is thrown over his shoulders, but Killua makes no move to knock it off. “I saw it at the store and knew Killua would look so cute in it! Then I noticed that there was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>matching</span>
  </em>
  <span> one, can you believe it? This was the last one in my size.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Naturally</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it was the last in his size. Just his luck.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wait. I look cute?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Killua thinks, shocked. He can feel his ears burning and instantly shrugs Gon off before darting away to the kitchen. Gon can </span>
  <em>
    <span>barely</span>
  </em>
  <span> get away with saying that sort of stuff when it’s just the two of them, but not in front of an </span>
  <em>
    <span>audience</span>
  </em>
  <span>, damnit. Absolutely mortifying. He hears Leorio’s howling laughter and it isn’t long before Gon joins in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Killua was going to burn this stupid sweater as soon as they leave, he swears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of plotting his best friend’s death, Killua opts to pour a glass of hot chocolate. Already his annoyance is starting to fade; Leorio can make a mean cup of cocoa. He mindlessly twirls a candy cane into the steaming liquid, hearing the others make small talk in the distance. Killua glances at the assortment of desserts in front of him as he listens to Kurapika ask what they have been up to recently; Gon responds enthusiastically, talking so fast that Killua can’t make out the individual words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He decides that a slice of the plain vanilla cake would go well with his drink, and tries to figure out the easiest way to cut the baked good. As Killua searches for a knife, he can vaguely discern Gon announcing that he is going to grab a cup of eggnog. Without entirely realizing what that entails, he finally finds the necessary utensil and sets about slicing himself a piece without a care in the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Killua almost jumps out of his skin when there is suddenly a chin resting on his shoulder, and he turns his head, startled. Gon is staring at the opened cake container, eyes swimming with mirth. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Busted</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cake for dinner?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger teen huffs, dancing out of Gon’s reach and waving the knife in hand threateningly. “Cake can be eaten whenever. Piss off.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gon laughs and holds up his hands playfully in defense before making his way to the fridge. Killua’s nose scrunches in disgust at the carton of eggnog that appears in tan hands. How anyone can stand to drink that shit, he doesn’t know. He is even more revolted when Gon simply twists off the cap and takes a swig straight out of the container, smacking his lips. Plain sickening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are repulsive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The brunette just shrugs and tilts the carton back to take another sip. Killua ignores him in favor of carefully maneuvering a perfect corner piece of cake onto a small plate. He takes a large bite and hums in satisfaction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are Leorio and Kurapika?” He asks, mouth stuffed full. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gon sends him a look of distaste but answers regardless. “They started being all lovey-dovey so I made a break for it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Already?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” He confirms, head-nodding solemnly. “It’ll be fine by the time you finish eating, I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Killua just tsks. Ever since Leorio and Kurapika became official, they also became </span>
  <em>
    <span>disgusting.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The kisses and overall romantic gestures were unbearable for spectators. One time (and Killua tried to forget this, he really did), he saw Leorio take his boyfriend’s hand and kiss his ring finger. Killua had run out of the room, almost tripping in his haste. It was nauseating, to say the least. The white-haired teen </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>jealous in the slightest, seriously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gon finally wipes his face with the sleeve of his (ugly) sweater and sets the eggnog back in the fridge before joining Killua by the counter. The white-haired teen just continues shoveling cake in his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y’know, I hope you like your presents I got you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If it’s anything like the one you already gave me, I won’t,” Killua replies, sending a scathing glare towards the shirt on his chest. Not only is it unpleasant to look at, but the fabric is also annoyingly itchy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s mean, Killua,” Gon responds, not really offended. He’s busy watching the rapidly disappearing cake with fascination. “You’re so hard to please.” It’s a lie and they both know it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last bite of baked goodness gets swallowed, and Killua momentarily mourns the loss. Maybe if he got a bigger slice… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he can make any moves, however, a tan hand snatches the fork and plate right out from under his nose and puts the cutlery in the sink. “Nope, no more.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Killua doesn’t even bother protesting, and just starts to make his way towards the living room again rather gloomily. As soon as he is about to pass the threshold into the hallway, a surprised gasp stops him. He turns around to see Gon looking at something above his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The teen slowly glances up, confused, and lays his eyes on a fresh bundle of mistletoe with bright red berries. He must have missed the plant when he came in. Killua feels his stomach tighten instinctively, already regretting the large dessert and drink that he consumed just minutes prior. Everything else in the room disappears, his focus only on the leafy plant, and a cold iciness sits on his chest. He tries to take a breath in but the pressure on his lungs won’t ease up. Is he about to have a panic attack? Killua clenches his fist, hands clammy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he can even attempt to stop his spiraling thoughts, Killua finds himself back at the Zoldyck mansion. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>(“Do you know what this is, Kil?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Four-year-old Killua Zoldyck shakes his head. This isn’t a plant that grew on Kukuroo Mountain, he’s sure of it. He plays outside and looks at the scenery every moment he isn’t training. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Illumi just blinks, face impassive. It always is. “This is mistletoe.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Mistletoe,” Killua parrots. A pretty name for a pretty plant. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His brother unties the thread around the bundle and begins to separate the sprigs of mistletoe. Killua watches, hiding his apprehension perfectly. Big brother didn’t like it when Killua showed emotion. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Mistletoe is poisonous,” Illumi starts. The child’s stomach instantly drops. This was the second week in a row of poison training now. Killua hated it; why couldn’t they go back to electricity? He could handle that much better, and he never threw up with electricity training. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Mistletoe is poisonous,” the taller man repeats, starting to remove the berries from the plant and setting them in a bowl. “Yet it is used as a holiday decoration by millions every year. Most are clueless to the fact that mistletoe could kill them.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Illumi pauses, but Killua knows better than to ask questions. Too many questions get him punishment. “It’s tradition to kiss someone underneath the mistletoe. Lovers embrace underneath death. It’s rather unsightly.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Killua is startled by the unnecessary comment. Big brother rarely gave opinions on these things. Lessons in the Zoldyck house were hardly verbal. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The brunette stops his ministrations, seemingly satisfied with the two piles in front of him. “Not that it matters, Kil. You will never experience such a trivial occurrence. Assassins aren’t made for things like that.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Trivial isn’t a word in Killua’s vocabulary yet, but he sort of understands the context. He can’t help but wonder if by ‘</span>
  </em>
  <span>things like that’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>Illumi means kissing or love. Probably both. Killua doesn’t want to accept that, for some reason. It sounds… sad. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Illumi snaps Killua out of his thoughts with a pointed finger. “Okay, Killua,” he says, gesturing towards the two bowls. “Eat. I will be back exactly twenty-four hours from now.” Killua glances down at the leafy plant and berries, expression souring now that his brother has turned away. Trying a poison for the first time was always the worst. At least this time he gets a bucket for his sick. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>As Illumi leaves the dark, cold room and locks it with a click, Killua sighs. He would kill someone for an unpoisoned chocolate robot.)</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“-llua. Hey, Killua? Killua, answer me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A warm hand on his waist snaps Killua out of a horrific trance-like memory. He realizes, with some embarrassment, that the palm on his side was supporting most of his weight. Were his hands shaking? Could Gon feel it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quickly leaning onto his own feet, Killua tries to smile. “Sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gon does not reciprocate the expression. He scans Killua’s face, eyes filled with concern. “Are you okay? You suddenly got pale and started swaying a little bit. Your eyes were kind of… scary, too. Unfocused.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Killua can imagine. He has seen his own eyes when he gets into a </span>
  <em>
    <span>mood</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and it isn’t pretty. The blonde bites his lip, contemplating what to do. Gon won’t drop it, he’s sure, but it also isn’t a big deal. He can still feel Gon’s hand on his waist and wills himself to not focus on the warmth it brings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um,” Killua starts, unsure of what to tell. “Mistletoe is… poison. I got a flashback, that’s all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A bad flashback</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thinks but doesn’t say aloud. </span>
  <em>
    <span>A really fucking vivid one. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He watches as understanding dawns on his friend. Gon’s eyebrows furrow a little bit, and for a second Killua gets worried that he is going to cause a scene. Gon doesn’t take well to Killua talking about what his family did to him, even if it was years ago now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of becoming upset, though, Gon’s face just smoothes out. “Bad memories, huh?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A somber nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gon sighs, apparently contemplating something. He suddenly snaps his fingers on his free hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you have a bad memory with mistletoe, let me give you a good one! Hopefully, they’ll, like, neutralize or something and balance out.” He pauses, thoughtful, before a huge grin graces his features. “Or, even </span>
  <em>
    <span>better</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it’ll make you forget the bad memory entirely!” </span>
</p><p><span>Killua simply blinks. That response was so… </span><em><span>Gon. </span></em><span>“What kind of </span><em><span>good</span></em> <em><span>memory</span></em><span>?” He suspiciously asks, making air quotes around the word </span><em><span>good</span></em><span> with his fingers. </span></p><p>
  <span>The older teen frowns. “What else do people do with mistletoe? I’ll kiss you, obviously.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s as if time freezes. Killua swears he feels his heart stop in his chest. “You- what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no way Gon Freecs just offered to kiss Killua. He is tempted to pinch himself just in case he is dreaming, but on the very slim chance that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>isn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Killua doesn’t want Gon to notice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A kiss. Do you not… Wait, do you not want one? I kinda thought that-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thought that </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Killua quickly cuts him off. Gon didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> about his feelings, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought that you would want one. A kiss, I mean. Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hand against his waist starts to slacken its grip and Killua promptly freaks out. “No!” he says a little too loudly. “I would like one! Um.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And although Killua is now dancing in a territory that he knows nothing about, what he </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> recognize is how genuine Gon’s widening grin is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” The older teen asks, making sure. Killua can only swallow heavily and nod in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, giving the blonde time to back out if he wanted, Gon leans in and stops just a hair’s width away from his lips. Killua screws his eyes shut in anticipation, trying not to gasp when Gon finally makes contact and sweetly kisses him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Contrary to all of the books and movies Killua has seen, his first kiss does not feel like fireworks going off. It does, however, make a tingly sensation run from the contact point of their lips down to his toes, and he gets lost in the feeling. The younger teen doesn’t even realize his hands crept up around Gon’s neck until he feels coarse hair from the other’s nape between his fingertips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Gon pulls back to take a breath of fresh hair, Killua has to resist whining like a petulant child. He can feel his face flaming to an almost painful degree as he winds the arms around Gon even tighter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You knew,” Killua mutters into the skin of Gon’s collarbone. “You knew how I felt, didn’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re obvious,” was the simple reply. Killua can’t even argue it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why didn’t you say anything?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gon shrugs a little, and Killua’s body moves with the ministrations. “Waiting for the perfect moment, I guess. And suddenly there you were, standing underneath a mistletoe.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first, Killua kinda wants to punch him. Then he kinda wants to kiss him silly. He settles for both, unwrapping an arm to hit the brunette’s shoulder and then planting a quick peck on the other’s cheek, trying to hold in giddy titters. Killua fails when he pulls back to glance at Gon’s face and sees his dumbfounded expression, a peal of laughter escaping into the air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One giggle turns into two, two into three, and suddenly both of the teens can’t keep it together, sliding to the floor and hysterically gasping for breath. The laugher dies down after a few minutes as their stomachs start to protest the constant contortion. Killua can faintly hear </span>
  <em>
    <span>The Grinch</span>
  </em>
  <span> playing down the hall. He had forgotten about the residents of this apartment entirely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gon gently takes Killua’s hand within his own, sliding their fingers together. Killua smiles at the sight. It would be super cliche to say they fit perfectly together, right? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Gon says. The blonde glances up to look at his face. “How’s that for a good memory?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Killua squeezes the intertwined hand. “Perfect.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>&amp;&amp;&amp;</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Later, Killua unwraps an obnoxious amount of chocolate robots from pretty blue paper. After expressing his initial glee, he turns and presses a wet kiss to Gon’s face in thanks. There is a loud </span>
  <em>
    <span>thump</span>
  </em>
  <span> as Kurapika drops the present in his hands, eyes wide. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oops.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Leorio exclaims.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi guys!! I am so sorry that I haven't been v active lately; the works I'm creating aren't meeting my own standards atm and I have been very busy with school lol. But I had to write something for the holiday season!!! also. have you guys been reading all the wonderful works coming out now rn??? ahhhhhh it's so exciting! i love every single one!!</p><p>if you find any mistakes or if this sounds rushed, I am so sorry. I wrote this all in one sitting and finished at like two am lol! lmk if you catch any errors, please!! </p><p>pssst... I know mistletoe isn't poisonous enough to kill you.... just let it slide this one time haha :)</p><p>Please have a happy holiday season everyone!! hopefully, I will see you all again very soon!! thank you for reading &lt;3</p><p>come talk to me on <a href="https://twitter.com/emokillugon">twitter!</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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